Hello again and then goodbye again

Hi everyone, it’s eons since I last wrote.

Lots has happened since that time… I have traveled to paint in so many states and countries, and produced lots of work that I’m very proud of. I’m refining my style to me truly and authentically me, and I’m thinking deeply into thematic elements that are even more me to the utter core… so much so that I often feel the weight of painting these themes are too heavy, or that they are too sacred or lofty for me to try to convey with my art.

2024 was my dream year…. filled only with projects which were so amazingly excellent, I would have even wanted to do them if I had no need of money… they were the most wonderful projects ever! They were: collaborating with NatureLab TOKYO (an incredible Japanese haircare brand), painting my largest double mural get in Germany, and then painting an important cultural mural (depicting a historical Japanese dance) in Northern California. I’d always said I wanted to do fewer projects but more important ones, and that was it! I wasn’t too overhwelmed, and my work and life balance was great.

Though I was so incredibly grateful for my best year ever, toward the end of the year I started feeling a bit sad. Then 2025 started with no projects whatsoever, and I felt again how hard it is to be a full-time artist and depend on constant art projects as income. I receive fewer and fewer requests through my site, and my instagram followers are unfollowing at a scary rate… for the life of me I can’t figure out how other muralists who work in the same field have tens of thousands of followers.

I decided to take action and hired an SEO person to improve my website; the numbers are way up now but still not a single request. I also hired an insta expert and got some very helpful tips which I implemented right away. However the end result is still very minimal growth and no meaningful new connections. I ran an ad for the first time and only received one (negative) comment. I know it’s not good to look at social media as a measure of your success, but in this world of online marketing it kind of is. And I’m tired. I’m tired of it all.

I can’t even tell if I love art anymore. The thought of painting a new mural only fills me with tredipadtion. I really feel like I have nothing currently to say or contribute, and it seems like nobody is asking for it anyway. I kind of long for the days of pre-social media, in university where I was excited with every new art idea and the world seemed so big. Wish I could go back to that state of mind.

So, I decided to take a break. I’m not posting anything new on Insta (though I just paid for that tune-up 🤪) and I’m not forcing myself to create anything. I’m just resting. I’m even considering other career paths and am open to anything. It’s hard though when I don’t have a work history of working for other people. I haven’t had a “real” job since 2012, and I haven’t had a “career job” since 2009. I’m not qualified for even the simplest of jobs.

So, I’m going away for awhile. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and believed in me thus far. I truly don’t deserve it, but I hope that someday I’ll be able to recover and become a great artist for you.